Hi everyone, I am making a different post today than usual. When I started this blog, it was always my intent to have "musings" on it-thus the name! However, my paper obsession took over and I never seemed to find the time to post my writing. I have written a devotional book but have not had the power (money) to publish it. I've decided that I will put a chapter from it every Monday on my blog. It is my sincere desire that my words will touch someone's heart out there in the blogosphere. My book is called "When Words Fail, Music Speaks". I am a vocalist and music is another passion of mine and Christian songs have touched me and sustained me through many struggles the last several years so songs are the starting point for each of these writings. When available, I will post the full song for you to hear. Please let me know what you think about my Monday Musings.
My Thoughts- Written by Belinda Kersey 1/07/07 Writing a month-long devotional book has been in my heart for about 4 years but I believe it began on the day my doctor told me he “thought” I had multiple sclerosis. I saw him in September 2001 with a complaint of blurry vision. He sent me to an ophthalmologist, who couldn’t pinpoint the problem, so he sent me to a specialist who sent me to another specialist. I really wasn’t too concerned, I just figured it was a temporary or repairable problem. But I was about to learn the truth to this line from the song, “Life can be so good, life can be so hard. Never knowing what each day will bring to where you are.” By late November 2001, my legs weakened. I tried to ignore it until I was in our backyard trying to gather up herbs in my garden before a freeze arrived. I walked with difficulty and actually staggered around the yard like a drunk.
This finally caught my attention so I made an appointment for the day before Thanksgiving. Dr. B asked me if the eye specialists had determined my eye problems. I told him, “no and I was scheduled for a retina test the next week”. With a look of concern, he told me I could cancel that appointment because he thought it was optic neuritis from MS. I was shocked. I expected him to tell me that I needed vitamins and a little rest, not I had an incurable disease.
Unfortunately, he could not schedule an MRI for me since it was the day before a holiday. He told me to “go home, have a good Thanksgiving and try not to worry.” Yeah, sure doc! When I got in the car, the tears and prayers started. As I drove home, this song came on the radio. I completely believe God sent it to me at the very moment I needed to hear “My life is in your hands, my heart is in your keeping. I'm never without love not when my future is with you. My life is in your hands And though I may not see clearly, I will lift my voice and sing”. The words I’ve repeated through the last several years have been “Lord, I know, my life is in your hands.”
My friend, if you are going through a time where you “can't see that whatever comes (your) way.
(God will ) be with (you)”. I want you to know you can find your way, yes, you will find your peace. You can know He will meet your every need. Don’t ignore the One who has your life in His hands, turn to him in your time of trouble!
At times, my journey with this disease has been difficult. I was hospitalized within 3 months of my diagnosis unable to walk or control my bladder. I left a job I loved and declared full disability. I had many hospitalizations, surgeries and physical therapy in the ensuing years. But, I can say with certainty “when I'm at my weakest (He will) carry me. Then I become my strongest in (His) hands.”
Let your heavenly Father know you believe He holds your life in His capable hands. Tell Him your fears and ask Him to replace them with His peace. Thank Him for turning your weakness into strength.